


Dude Looks Like An Angel

by PickleGarden



Category: Family Guy (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 06:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15989828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PickleGarden/pseuds/PickleGarden
Summary: Chris dies after giving into Peter's usual inanity.   Heaven sends Chris back to Earth as a ghostly angel.   To reform his family in order to enter the afterlife.





	Dude Looks Like An Angel

Peter runs inside the Griffin House calling for his children. "KIDS!" "KIDS!" "KIDS!" "KIDS!" Brian checks on Peter to see what the ruckus is. "Peter, it's 10 at night. Why do you want to wake up the kids?" Brian asks. "I want to show them something really fun!" Peter exclaimed. "KIDS!" "KIDS!" OH, KIDS!" Chris, Meg, and Stewie all get up hesitantly. "What does that fat pathetic asshole want now?" asked Stewie. Peter sees his kids were awake, but was intolerable with Meg's presence. "Guess it's the big mystery, Stewie!" Chris answering his baby brother.

"Kids! Good you're all up!" Peter said as he took an umbrage at Meg's presence. "No Meg Allowed!" Meg pleads with her haughty father, "But Dad! You're the one who called us all!" Peter said standing cross armed, with loathsome disdain, "That will be all, Meg!" Stewie jabs at his sister, "Yeah, that will be all, Meg!" Peter sees Meg go back to her bedroom. "Good, now that the bitch is out of the way, let's see what we have outside!"

Chris cheers, "YAAAAYYY! Wonder what this is going to be?" Brian says, "I better come too." Knowing with his owner Peter Griffin, trouble was lurking around the corner. Peter leads Chris, Brian, and Stewie into the backyard and they see a huge house that looked unlivable. Noticing his swing set his gone, Stewie cries, "What the deuce! My swing set is gone! I never try to sell the Fatman's car and he takes away my swing set!"

"You're going to make me ask, aren't you?" said Brian. "What up with the haunted house, Dad?" asked Chris. "This isn't any other haunted house, boys! This is the Old Simmons Place from the movie 'The Ghost and Mr. Chicken!'" Brian turns to Stewie, "How many times has Peter did Don Knotts references?" "I lost count on that along with the Star Wars references." Stewie responded. "I got this movie prop house on Craig's List!" Peter explains. Brian rolls his eyes, "Craig's List. So controversial. They sell anything from Sex Toys to houses from forgotten movies."

Peter tells his dog and kids, "We can't afford to go on a vacation this year because funds are short, so I spent all the money we had on this haunted house! We will have a stay-cation!"

Brian says to Peter, "Once Lois finds out about this, spending money that could've gone to something useful, you are dead!" Peter assures, "Lois doesn't know! Believe me! Now! Who wants to take a look around the Old Simmons Place?"

Chris runs at the chance, "I WILL! I WILL! I WILL!" "You made a great choice, Chris! You shall enter first!" said Peter. Without knowing, Lois is looking out the window and sees that Peter has a haunted house in the backyard "What the in fuck! A-ha! So that's where all our month's saving went! PPPPPEEEEETTTTTTEEEEEERRRRRR!"

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Looking around the Old Simmons Place. Chris was excited. "Oh boy! My first time in a house from a movie! Can't wait to tell all my friends!" Herbert was looking out the window of his house and sees Chris excitedly playing in the Old Simmons Place.

"Oh what I wouldn't give to be in there right now, Jesse!" Herbert said.

Chris goes into all the rooms until he hears a small creaking sound underneath him. "Hmmmm, Nah. It's probably nothing." Chris sees the painting from the slain woman from the movie Mrs. Simmons with shears in his throat and fake blood. "No way that's real!"

Running upstairs Chris goes into the Organ Loft and sees the keys to the organ are stained. "This needs Bon Ami!"

Outside, Lois walks up to Peter to talk to him. "Hey, Peter."

"Oh, hi Lois!"

"Mind telling me about that house over there?"

"Didn't think you would find out!"

Brian jokingly states, "Lois has 'Find Out What Peter is Up To Power!'"

"Yes, Brian's right! I do!"

Hoping Lois would leave him alone. "What do you think of the house! Got it for a stay-cation!" Peter exclaims.

"Which one of the kids did you have go inside?" asked Lois who was suspicious.

"Uhhh, Stewie!" answered Peter as fast as he could.

"I'm right here!" Stewie said.

"If Stewie is in there, why is he out here!" Lois asked once again hoping to grill Peter for answers.

Inside the Old Simmons Place, Chris finds a bookcase. "I'm going to throw a book at this and see what happens!"

That turns out to be a fatal mistake on Chris's part. Chris finds a book to throw at the bookcase and the bookcase along with all the rest of the Haunted House Peter bought began to deflate and crumple. The roof caved in and landed on Chris.

Peter, Lois, Brian, and Stewie saw the whole thing. "Oh my gosh!" "Holy crap!" "You're in for it, now Peter!" "What the duece!"

Chris was dead. His soul was floating to heaven as he tried to get back inside his body.

"No wait! I can't be dead yet! This is a mistake!" Chris protested as he was being dragged into Heaven.

"Chris was in there! Chris is DEAD!" screamed Lois. "OH MY BABY IS DEAD!" Lois fell to the ground and sobbed.

Feeling shocked and dismayed, Peter takes notice. "Oh my GOD! He is! Had I know this would happen, Lois! Had I known! *sighs* I would've sent Meg inside the Old Simmons Place instead!" Peter said.

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There was nothing Chris can do. He continued to float into Heaven. Chris began to sprout angel wings and got a halo over his head.

"Cool! Maybe being dead isn't so terrible as everybody says it is!"

Entering Heaven, Chris finds himself in an office. At the desk behind the Pearly Gates, there was an elderly man who resembled Carter Pewterschmidt.

"Grandpa! You died too?"

"I am not your Grandpa. I am your Great-Grandfather. Charles Pewterschmidt."

Chris asked his Great Grandfather, "What were you like?"

Charles answered, "Just like my son is now! Corrupt, greedy and evil!"

"And you made it into Heaven?" Chris said.

"I had two things, discipline and the Bible!" Charles said. "To top it off, I was even more crooked and underhanded."

"Why am I here?" asked Chris.

"I sent you here to reform your family, Chris." said Charles.

"Never thought of my family as bad. All the things they do seem normal to me." stated Chris.

"Well they are. Horrible, terrible, awful! Headstrong! Violent! Peter got you killed! Doesn't that tell you anything! Your family, Peter, Lois, Meg, Stewie, and Brian have been very very bad people. And it's your job to redeem them into better people." Charles explains his plan for Chris.

"I can go back to Earth then?" asked Chris.

"Yes you may. But you will be an invisible ghost angel. You can fly too. Nobody can see you but you can touch and pick up things. If you're successful, you will enter Heaven."

"Sounds like this isn't going to be easy. I've never been one for tasks." replied Chris.

"You have to! There is no reason for failure. However if you do fail..." Charles says.

A ball of fire appears before Chris and Charles, and morphs into a demon in the form of Herbert. Armed with a pitchfork and wearing a red robe with devil horns.

Charles warns Chris, "You will spent eterntity with him! The Satanic Leader where Bad Kids go!"

Chris is all scared out of his wits. "Place Bad Kids go! I thought that was a Creepypasta urban legend! Like Slenderman!"

The demon who looked like Herbert tells Chris, "Place I rule really isn't so bad! End up with me, you will see that we have some 'HOT STUFF' down here!" The demon dances then fades slowly as he laughs.

"Okay! OKay! You have my word! I will make my family better people!" vows Chris.

"That's the spirit!" laughs Charles. Chris didn't really understand it. "Get it? It's a common joke here in Heaven!"

Chris flies back down the Earth. "I'll show those ass-farts Peter, Lois, Brian, Stewie, and old titty face!"

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The Griffins meet the Greased Up Deaf Guy at the law commission. Peter, Meg, and Lois were both crying their eyes out. Brian and Stewie were saddened too. The Greased Up Deaf Guy tells them all, "Isn't this awesome? Even though I'm greased up and deaf now I can still practice law!"

"We don't give a shit about your stupid ass job! Tell me, Peter! Why did you drag us here?" Lois said.

"I just wanted to see how we can profit from Chris's death!" said Peter. "Do you remember if I had taken out an insurance policy out on him?"

Lois gasps as she had never been so offended in her life. Meg replies, "Don't be so shocked Mom! Dad has always had his head up his ass! Of course we would try to get some benefits for himself from Chris's death! Because he is a selfish bastard!"

"SHUT UP, MEG! It should've been YOU who died in that Old Simmons Place! I should've sent YOU in there to your death! Like Johnny Cash's father in Walk The Line, GOD TOOK THE WRONG SON! GOD TOOK THE WRONG SON!" Peter sank his head into his hands.

The Greased Up Deaf informs them, "Chris Griffin has never written a will. But he did leave you guys with this hard blanket and these German puppets."

"We'll take them. We don't need any money from this!" Lois sobs.

"My only son is dead. Now I have to be stuck with...sob... Meg!" Peter said crying.

Stewie says, "What about me? Where do I come in all this? Doesn't he acknowledge ME as a son?" Brian assures him, "He's never been that good of a father to you. He barely knows any of us exists." "Sometimes I wish you were my Dad instead, Brian." said Stewie. "I'll help you cope with Chris's death." Brian promised. "Thanks, man! All I need is you and Rupert."

Peter says crying, "Are you trying to tell us? We don't get any money from his death?" "Nothing at all! None! Nada! Zilch!" answers the Greased Up Deaf Guy.

"How dare you, Peter! Trying to get money for a death of a family member. Don't you care at all! We lost our baby! I am so upset with you right now! I'm not going to talk to you for a long time!" Lois yelled. "Yeah right! You'll come crawling back soon!" said Peter not in the least bit worried. "Here's some more, keep this up and I just might leave you!"

Peter didn't want to accept the fact that Lois could divorce him. Peter whispers to the Greased Up Deaf Guy, "Don't worry she'll forget about this in the morning. Then we'll be hunky dory again. I'll come back when one of her parent's dies."

Chris Griffin's ghost walks out of the walls as he was watching the whole thing. Chris's ghost was worried that his death could tear apart the whole family and possibly break up Peter and Lois which has always been a fear of his.

"Oh no! My gotta save my Mom's and Dad's relationship! I don't want them to divorce!"

The Griffins walks out of the law commission and go back home. Peter and Lois argued the whole way there.

Chris's ghost follows the Griffins home. "Now I must achieve what I was sent here to do!"

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The Griffins were home for three hours. Lois still wasn't on speaking terms with Peter. Brian was consoling Stewie until he heard Peter on his IPAD. "What the hell is he doing? He better be grieving for his son!" Brian said. "I want to come too!" Stewie said.

Peter was on his IPAD looking up Youtube videos. "What are you doing there? Trying to find another way to get money off of Chris's death?" asked Brian sarcastically. "Oh, gosh! Will he try to have me killed next?" Stewie shouted.

"Lois isn't speaking to me. I'll wait until it blows over by tomorrow." said Peter. "What are you looking up there?" asked Brian.

Peter begins to giggle, "These videos about Hidden Adult Innuendos in Kid's Cartoons!"

Brian could not be more appalled at the fact that Peter was so apathetic about Chris's death. "The fucking hell is wrong with you? Your son just died! Why not try looking up videos about Coping with The Death of a Child?"

Ignoring Brian, Peter goes on, "Seems like the only cartoons they mention on these videos are Ed Edd, and Eddy. Courage The Cowardly Dog. Dexter's Laboratory. Hey Arnold! Fairly Oddparents. And Rugrats. Why do only those cartoons get all the attention on these videos? Why not mention Digimon, Project Geeker, or Sonic the Hedgehog for a change!" Peter then throws down his IPAD. "God bless it to hell! I need a drink!"

Chris's ghost comes in and picks up the IPAD. "Great Grandpa Charles says I'd be able to pick up objects." Chris's ghost goes on Youtube and types in the search engine, "How To Cope With The Death of a Child."

Lois comes into the living room. She sees Peter's IPAD. "Hmmm, wonder what he is trying to pull now?" Lois sees on Peter's IPAD. "Oh my." Peter is in the kitchen and Lois sees him. "Oh, Peter. Sorry I doubted you. You're such a sweet man! You really do care about Chris's death."

Peter begins to sob again, "I can't get that terrible scene out of my head of Chris having that house fall on him. I killed my son!" Lois tries her best to hide her anger and to not blame Peter for Chris's death. "It was Craiglist's fault!" Lois gasps and sobs.

"Sorry that I tried to get money from Chris's demise, Lois." sobbed Peter. "That's all right. I can't stay mad at you. I forgive you. I'm sorry too for threatening to leave you. I never would." Lois said. Brian comes into the kitchen along with Stewie. "We need each other now more than ever. It's pointless to place blame or make empty threats."

"You're absolutely correct, Brian. We should stand together as a family." Lois said. "Not fall apart!" Peter sniffled. Lois continues, "I'm very proud of you that you're taking the time and watch Youtube videos to try to learn how to cope with the death of our baby. Here I thought you were being a self-centered asshole." "I loved Chris. It pains me that I will never spend time or see him again." Peter sniffles.

Brian replies to Stewie, "If only Lois knew what Peter was REALLY looking up on Youtube." Meg walks into the kitchen and cries. "Chris was the sweetest brother in the world!"

"What did you know about Chris? All you ever did was fight with and complain about him. Hell. You called him a bastard and accused him of a lot of shit during Hurricane Flozell!" Lois spouts off at her daughter. Peter takes a look at Meg and screams, "GOD TOOK THE WRONG SON! GOD TOOK THE WRONG SON! GOD TOOK THE WRONG SON!" Meg sees Peter get out of the kitchen table and sneers in her face, "It should've fucking been you!"

"Didn't we send her away?" asked Stewie. Yeah, we did. It's not the real Meg. That's just a clone of her." said Brian.

Chris's ghost is relieved that his family is not going at each other.

"Making my family better people, one day at a time." Chris's ghost says.

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At James Woods High, Meg was standing outside a booth. Meg was selling Over the Counter Medicines in hopes of joining the Cool Crowd. OTC drugs were all latest trend at the high school in Quahog.

"OTCs! OTCs! Get your OTCs! Just in time for finals!" Meg tries to announce to her schoolmates. Chris's Ghost watches Meg. "Now here is someone who needs a kick in the ass and become a better person!" Chris's Ghosts says to himself.

Connie, Gina, and some high school football players approach Meg in her booth. "Hey, Meg! Are you raising money to overdose on those and kill yourself!" laughs Connie as she terrorizes Meg. "Uh, no. This is what is popular right now. I'm selling them so people can concentrate on their exams." Meg explains herself. "Meg's so fat, she flunked a BMI test!" Gina cracks up.

"Who in the fuck would want to buy shit from you, Meg! You freak! You pig!" One of the football players replies. Meg realizes she forgot something, "I forgot the Cough Medicine. Hold that thought, I'll be right back." Meg goes off to get some cough medicine. Chris's Ghost flies over to the booth where Meg was selling the OTCs. Chris's Ghost picks up the booth, and emits a wind from his mouth making all the OTCs and the booth crash and fly into Connie, Gina, and the football players.

"OMG! What the fuck just happened?" Connie said astounded. Principal Shepard comes outside and sees Connie, Gina, and the football players all covered with pieces of the booth and the OTCs Meg was selling. "You!" points Principal Shepard at them. "You're the ones who are selling OTCs for Final Exams, eh? I'll get you!" Connie, Gina, and the football players find themselves running away as Principal Shepard chases them with a broom. Meg comes back with the cough medicine and sees her whole business was gone.

"Thought those popular snobs would destroy my OTC booth. Now I'll never be popular for selling OTCs for students who want to pass their finals." Meg said.

Chris's Ghost was impressed with what he had done. "That was amazingly enjoyable! It's always fun to ruin Meg!"

On Spooner Street the next day. Brian saw a DVD on Quagmire's lawn. The DVD was Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger. "Why is Quagmire watching this for?" the Griffin family dog wondered. Quagmire runs out of his house and sees Brian holding the DVD.

"Hey, hey, hey! Put that down! Everything I have is none of your business!" Quagmire shouted at Brian.

Chris's Ghost appears on the curb of The Griffin home. "I am going to get these two to stop hating each other!"

Brian tells Quagmire, "Found this laying on the ground? You just going to leave it there to fucking rot?"

"I was meaning to get that!" Quagmire swipes the DVD from Brian's hands. "Go try to pass yourself off as a cultured intellectual or whatever it is you do! You piece of shit!"

"Why the hell are you watching Commando? Don't you only watch porn?" asked Brian curiously.

"For Alyssa Milano, all right?" Quagmire spat back.

"Sick! She was young back when she was in this!" Brian said. "She's what? In her 40s now? Why does that matter?" Quagmire asked.

Brian argues with the perverted pilot, "Where did you get it from? Tony Danza?" "I even have Teen Steam, gonna make something out of that!" Quagmire fought back.

Chris's Ghost flies over to Brian and Quagmire, breaks the DVD and holds the both of them by their collars. Brian and Quagmire were confused as to why they were suddenly in the air.

"This feud between you two has gone on long enough." demands Chris's Ghost who then pushes Brian's and Quagmire's face up against one another, "Now kiss and make up!"

Chris's Ghost then drops them and both land hard on Quagmire's lawn. "Did we just...fly?" asked Quagmire. "Think we did." said Brian. "I can get used to being a ghostly angel! I'll be in heaven in no time! I won't let you down, Great Grandpa!"

Stewie runs out of the house and comes to Brian. "Come into my bedroom. I just invented something very titillating!"

Within minutes, Brian was in Stewie's bedroom. "What did you bring me here to see?"

Stewie shows Brian a fountain pen. "This!"

"It's a fountain pen. That's already been invented." said Brian listlessly. Not being very impressed. "Nobody even uses pens that much anymore. Expect for pens that can be used on iphones or kindles or whatever."

"Stop trying to correct me, Brian! It's more than just a fountain pen. It's a fountain pen that can write on whipped cream!" Stewie promulgated.

Brian laughs, "Boy that is very useful! What kind of whipped cream does it write on, Coo-Hwhip?!"

Stewie slaps Brian, "Stop with the cachinnation! I am going to give this to the Fat Man. Peter Griffin. And make him think he invented it. Then when he demonstrates what it can do. The fountain pen will go on the brink and be defected. Giving everybody a whip of whipped cream on their faces! Soon, he will be the biggest chump and social outcast in all of Quahog!"

Chris's Ghost was flying near Stewie's bedroom window. "Oh no! They're planning the undoing of my Dad! I can't let them do this! If this happens! I'll never get into Heaven! OH! What to do! What to do!" Chris's Ghost moans.

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In his bedroom, Peter was mourning over the loss of Chris. Gasping and sobbing looking at a selfie that he and Chris had taken. "Goodbye, little Christopher! Goodbye! Little...baby...Chris!" Peter fell to the floor and cried. Until Stewie threw the Fountain Pen in his direction. Peter picks up the pen. "Oh look at this. A Fountain Pen." Lois walks in who is sad too, "I never thought I'd be one of those parents who outlives their child."

"Where did this come from?" asked Peter. Brian says, "You invented that. Remember?" "Too bad you didn't invent anything that can bring back our son!" cries Lois. Peter takes another look at the pen, "Funny I don't recall inventing this." "Sure you did invent it, Peter. You have repressed memory syndrome about it." Brian says trying to mess with Peter's head.

"You're right. What exactly was the concept with this pen?" asked Peter. "It writes on whipped cream. You can show the whole town what you invented and perhaps you can make money off of it to make up for that movie prop you ordered!" Brian said. "In layman's terms you can use this to get our life savings back!" "That is a holy freaking sweet idea you have, Brian! It's all coming back to me! I did make up something like this!" Peter says. Stewie calls out to Brian, "Did you make him think he invented it!" "Roger that, Stewie!" Brian affirms.

Lois says, "A Fountain Pen that writes on whipped cream? That sounds like something you would do." Chris is witnessing everything that was happening. "Why do Brian and Stewie hate my Dad so much? I know Stewie can talk, but I never thought he was this evil! How can I stop this?" Peter runs around with the Pen in his hand. "I must inform the world what I have attained! I am taking this to the streets!" Lois runs after Peter, "But Peter! What grieving about the loss of your son?" "Fuck that shit! Do you want to make for money! Sure we all do! I can do a cool Sally Struthers voice!" said Peter. Lois shrieked then she sank into the ground as she could not believe Peter forgot about Chris's death so fast. "What am I gonna do with him?"

As the day went by, Tom Tucker and Joyce Kinney even did a news report about Peter's invention.

"Good Evening, I'm Tom Tucker!"

"And I'm Joyce Kinney!"

"Our top story tonight, local obese dumbass Peter Griffin has claimed to have invented something that he wants all of Quahog to know about!"

"It appears to be a Fountain Pen that can write an desserts or something."

"We go live to the local Sleep Inn Estates where our Asian correspondent, Tricia Tackinowa was at the scene. Tricia!"

Tricia reports outside the motel where Peter was holding a meeting. "Tom, I am standing here outside the Sleep Inn Estates. Peter Griffin is in inside running a meeting with everyone in town gathering to see his latest invention."

"What do you think the purpose is to write on whipped cream?" asked Tom.

"People invent silly things for fame." said Joyce.

Inside the Sleep Inn Estates, Chris's Ghost was hiding in the audience. Peter Griffin was up front and center with an electric mixer filled with whipped cream. Peter even installs the fountain pen where the whisk should be, Joe calls out in the audience.

"Hope this was important enough to pull me away from busting punk ass criminals, Peter!"

"Just tell us how this works and be done with it!" demands Cleveland.

"I ought to be flying a plane to Vegas by now! I have a whore there waiting for me!" shouts Quagmire.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. I called you all here to today to witness the future! This is more than just a fountain pen! It can write on whipped cream!" Peter announces.

"Why do we need to write on whipped cream for when we could just use a tiny piece of paper?" whined Mort.

"Everyone's eye examine this, please! I shall turn on this mixer and it shall write! I like to call this mixer the Mix-It 2600! Get it? Like the Atari 2600!"

"Get to the point, Peter! We have jobs to go to!" shouted Joe.

Brian and Stewie were in the audience laughing to themselves. "We should send this to Impractical Jokers!" laughed Stewie. "Or, Tosh.0!" agrees Brian.

Peter yells, "YOU ALL BETTER FUCKING WATCH THIS! MY INVENTION IS IMPORTANT! THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO, MEG!" Chris flies over to the mixer holding onto all the hope he has to try to stop the mixer from going on. Chris's Ghost pushes a button that he thought was going to stop the mixer but instead, everything mixes backwards at a fast paced motion.

"Holy Freaking SHIT!" screamed Peter as the whipped cream was stained with ink flying all over the hotel lobby. Peter sees what had occurred, "Oh no! I put it on reverse! Now nobody's going to buy my invention! I'll never get money for Chris's death!" Everybody in Quahog was angered at Peter Griffin after they all heard him blurt that out.

Lois stands up from her seat, "PETER GRIFFIN! YOU ARE IN BIG..." before Lois can finish, she is the first to get whipped cream in her face.

"CONSIDER OUR FRIENDSHIP DO..." Quagmire tries to tell off Peter, and then he too is silenced by a blob of flying whipped cream.

Meg stands from her seat, "You're an embarrassment, Dad! And this proves..." then Meg was silenced by a blob of whipped cream that caused her to cough and choke.

A riot begins to develop and erupt. Joe tries to quiet everyone down. "Calm down everybody! Right..." Joe gets a whipped cream facial.

Quagmire, Cleveland, Mort, and everyone else in town whom Peter dragged to see the Fountain Pen all get whipped cream in their faces. Brian and Stewie hide under a table. "Why did you plan this for Stewie?" asked Brian.

"I wanted to show the whole town what a fucking ass sucker Peter Griffin really is!"

"Guess you won and showed them here!" Brian complemented the baby.

"You see it was a test to see if he really cared about Chris's death. Turns out, he doesn't!" Stewie added. "What I wanted everyone to see was that he cared more about making money over a worthless invention!"

"This time you were right! Glad we planned this Take Down Peter project together! Maybe we really are better off without him!" said Brian.

Peter sees everyone run out of the hotel lobby. "WAIT! COME BACK! WAIT COME BACK! I CAN GET IT TO WORK AGAIN!"

Chris's Ghost was dispirited that he didn't live up to what Charles Pewterschimdt sent him to do. "OH SHIT! I tried my best to stop Brian and Stewie from making my Dad look like an uncaring son of a bitch! My whole family is going to fall apart! I failed my mission! I'm going to the Bad Kids Place! I'm on my way to spend forever with ... Devil Herbert!"

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The scene starts to slowly turn black. It was Chris's nightmare the whole time. Chris was sleeping in bed unaware that his butt was on fire. Chris wakes up and screams thinking he's in the Bad Kids Afterlife Place. Peter and Lois run into Chris's room.

"So that's where my marijuana went!" Peter said. "Damn you, Peter! You should've hid that thing! Chris found it, and now look what happened!"

Chris got out of bed jumping up and down. "HELP! HELP!" Brian runs in with a bucket of water, "Let me do this!" Stewie comes in, "STOP, DROP, and ROLL! STOP DROP, and ROLL!" "This is too dangerous! Get outta here, Stewie!" Brian said.

Brian tells Chris, "Put your ass in this to put the fire out!" "All right! Brian? Why are you in the Bad Kids Place?"

"It was just a dream you had! You were never in no 'Bad Kids Place'! Come on and put out that fire!" Brian yelled. Chris runs to the bucket of water and puts his inflamed butt in it. Chris sighed a breath of relief that the fire was put out.

Lois cries out with concern, "Chris, my baby? Are you okay?" "Never been better, Mom! Now that I know it was all a bad dream!" Chris said.

Peter was oblivious for a second, "Dream? What do you mean, dream? Oh right! You smoked my weed!"

Chris explains, "When I was sleeping I had a dream that I died because of Dad!" "Even in people's dreams they blame me for things!" Peter says rolling his eyes. "Hmmm, wonder why?" Lois snarked.

"You see, Dad bought a house from some Don Knotts movie. He made me go inside. I died when it crumpled then I went to Heaven! I saw Grandpa's Dad, Charles Pewterschmidt there and he sent me back to Earth as a Ghost Angel to help me make my family better people!"

"Does this dream have an end! Hurry and finish it! I want to meet the guys at the Clam!" shouted Peter. "Shut up, Peter! Let him fucking finish! Chris, keep going." said Lois. "I reform everyone and everything was going okay until Brian and Stewie invented a Fountain Pen that can write on Whipped Cream! To make Dad look like he cared more about making money than me dying." laughed Chris. "Hey! Maybe we can actually invent something like that! We can get rich!"

Meg walks over to Chris's room and has a plate of shaving cream. "Here's the cream you asked for, Dad!" Peter throws the cream in Meg's face. Meg falls to the floor and is knocked cold. "This is your cream, Chris!" Peter laughed. Brian hands Chris a pen, "This is a 'fountain' pen!" "Write yourself a letter!" said Stewie.

Chris walks over to Meg's face and proceeds to write on the cream that was on Meg's face. "Dear Great Grandpa Charles...


End file.
